I do not long for something remarkable.
Yet, ultimately, this is precisely that which I wait for.
How long shall I wait?
Upon reading and rereading, it seems the mundane inevitably unfolds into a profound realization, thus, making up that which one becomes.
Thought and a significant lack of forethought lead me,

“…To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question…”


T.S. Eliot

Oftentimes, I wish to be elsewhere...

It may not help that this song has been running through my mind ever so frequently lately…

Le soleil brille à pleins feux
Mais je ne vois que tes yeux
La blancheur de ton corps nu
Devant mes mains éperdues
Viens, ne laisse pas s'enfuir
Les matins brodés d'amour
Viens, ne laisse pas mourir
Les printemps, nos plaisirs

L'amour c'est comme un jour
Ça s'en va, ça s'en va l'amour
C'est comme un jour de soleil en ripaille
Et de lune en chamaille
Et de pluie en bataille
L'amour c'est comme un jour
Ça s'en va, ça s'en va l'amour

C'est comme un jour d'un infini sourire
Une infinie tendresse
Une infinie caresse
L'amour c'est comme un jour
Ça s'en va mon amour

Notre été s'en est allé
Et tes yeux m'ont oublié
Te souviens-tu de ces jours
Où nos cœurs parlaient d'amour
Nous n'avons pu retenir
Que des lambeaux de bonheur
S'il n'y a plus d'avenir
Il nous reste un souvenir

L'amour c'est comme un jour
Ça s'en va, ça s'en va l'amour
C'est comme un jour de soleil en ripaille
Et de lune en chamaille
Et de pluie en bataille
L'amour c'est comme un jour
Ça s'en va, ça s'en va l'amour

C'est comme un jour d'un infini sourire
Une infinie tendresse
Une infinie caresse
L'amour c'est comme un jour
Ça s'en va mon amour

Charles Aznavour

Caress
Undress
A tress {gently moved}.
Supposition,
disposition.
Outwardly content,
controlled
Yet dawn breaks in several hours and all I have are
confused
tormented
thoughts

I wish to go galumphing along the briny beach!

The Jabberwocky

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought--
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arm, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe

(Lewis Carroll, The Annotated Alice).

The moon prefers your face to mine
and in my sleep
my dreams; divine
conjure images of a time
but still I wonder…

I need an instrument
for my regret
My sanity is lacking
Yet I forget the truth,
the past,
the memories

And I forget the early morning breeze as you walk near
and touch me
and whisper in my ear
and hold me

near
as I fear the waking

Fuck you,
local and global maxima and minima of multivariable functions with a ridiculous amount of terms

fuck you.

I like you better at night;
when you are dark and lonely

I would like to place them {all of those individuals}, in glass cubes for observation
as my misery washes over their blank faded gazes of contentment
while I search for a beautiful life

Yes, I would like those cubes stacked.

Alone;
I am alone.

Unable to comprehend the differences
between general discontentment
and the present gaping feelings of fear and needing
Aloof compromises may not lend themselves to coherent conclusions
To be lonely in a crowded room
Isolated around seemingly close friends
Content when alone and yet the ever-present lacking void
Is this a life-long quest for an inexplicable source of fulfillment or gratification
Is this truly unhappiness; have I ever been happy?

I remember a time; the past – thousands of kilometers away…
It is here where I am unable to reach
I am disinclined to believe this can change